As colors fadeth,
so does the flower withereth away.
Do not let go of me Oh Lord,
keep me shining 'til we see.
Thirsty for the water,
that would fill my heart with joy.
Let Your glory be my guidance,
if a lost soul should I become.
As i look back I am but ashamed,
of all the clatters i have made.
Correct my ways, let me stand firm,
to which is just, right and holy.
Thirsty for The words,
that would grant me such great wisdom.
For without you I am but nothing,
with all Your grace oh Lord,
Quench me, Make me whole.
- Location:ycheaine's room
- Mood:
calm - Music:midnight silence
It was her who heard my first cry,
the same woman who carried my weight for quite a long while.
from the day i was born 'til i learned to walk and write,
My mother, so hopeful, guided me just when life began.
With all her understanding, she has seen through me.
She has accepted what i have and have not become,
It didn't matter how high i could not leap.
The only woman who has truly embraced my being,
My mother, who else would it be?
It must have been hard for her to see me go,
to finally let me explore the world on my own and be free.
For even when i now think i have grown old,
The little darling, to my mother, i would always be.
Though i cannot grow old with her, she will always be with me.
never will all my memories of her fade away,
and as for all time kept as a precious treasure in my heart,
My mother, an epitome of pure love, happiness and Beauty.
the same woman who carried my weight for quite a long while.
from the day i was born 'til i learned to walk and write,
My mother, so hopeful, guided me just when life began.
With all her understanding, she has seen through me.
She has accepted what i have and have not become,
It didn't matter how high i could not leap.
The only woman who has truly embraced my being,
My mother, who else would it be?
It must have been hard for her to see me go,
to finally let me explore the world on my own and be free.
For even when i now think i have grown old,
The little darling, to my mother, i would always be.
Though i cannot grow old with her, she will always be with me.
never will all my memories of her fade away,
and as for all time kept as a precious treasure in my heart,
My mother, an epitome of pure love, happiness and Beauty.
- Location:new apt.
- Mood:
touched - Music:airie
I came here to rest my soul,
to Find freedom from all my stresses and strives.
I came here to sing You a song,
from the deepest joy within my heart.
I find peace amidst the noise in You, Lord.
in the middle of the night i rise awake,
sEeking for tranquility and Your presence.
anSwer me Oh God, i call on to your name..
amidst the noise hear me, take time for my plea.
In your house i come to worship,
the temple built for Your glory,
may the my little voice of gratitude reach You,
make my praises be heard amidst the noise, Lord.
to Find freedom from all my stresses and strives.
I came here to sing You a song,
from the deepest joy within my heart.
I find peace amidst the noise in You, Lord.
in the middle of the night i rise awake,
sEeking for tranquility and Your presence.
anSwer me Oh God, i call on to your name..
amidst the noise hear me, take time for my plea.
In your house i come to worship,
the temple built for Your glory,
may the my little voice of gratitude reach You,
make my praises be heard amidst the noise, Lord.
- Location:tiny room
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:Love Bug by: JB
I got to look at my old journal again this morning,
and i flipped over the page i had for you..
on it i wrote everything you needed to know,
but you never got to know anyways.
There were only two who had a special page,
on that journal that contained my heart..
you were lucky i've given you one..
looks like you never got to know that too.
A closed book is what you are to me.
pages folded, unwanted to be read..
but every time i get pass that page i smile..
i guess you'll never get to know that.
and i flipped over the page i had for you..
on it i wrote everything you needed to know,
but you never got to know anyways.
There were only two who had a special page,
on that journal that contained my heart..
you were lucky i've given you one..
looks like you never got to know that too.
A closed book is what you are to me.
pages folded, unwanted to be read..
but every time i get pass that page i smile..
i guess you'll never get to know that.
- Location:tiny room
- Mood:
amused - Music:old aircon
little children gathered every time he sat on the stone near the river bank,
an old man with gray hair and green eyes..
he didn't seem to look as old as eighty five.
every four in the afternoon he'd tell the young ones a story,
of a maiden and a prince who never got to marry.
for so many years, he'd been telling the same old tale
to all the folks who'd been there to listen.
and now that everyone else knew of it,
he had come to tell it to the children.
"there was this boy, in a blue jumper suit
who runs around with his wooden horse,
an only child, he never met his father
and so the boy came to live with his mother.
then there's this girl who lives across their street
her eyes were blue as violet,
her hair as soft as the clouds..
one afternoon their paths crossed at the candy store,
they both made friends and shared an ice cream
and remained close until their teens.
now each one is off to college
to pursue the dreams they had,
the girl went far out of town
while the boy stayed close to his mother.
each week he had a letter to send,
each time the lady replied..
it went on until they had to see each other again,
for there was a mutual understanding.
then it came that the lady thought it was time,
that they both straighten things and marry,
though she knew it was his part to play,
she sent a ring in a hurry.
to his astonishment the next morning,
he went early to buy tickets for surprise.
his plan was to fly and get his lady
and bring her home to walk the isle.
but dismay always had it's way over joy..
a storm came and for tonight he had to stay.
on the other hand, the girl flew to see him..
not noticing the sky was darker than the later night.
a strong wind blew and there was this thunder,
and all that was left to know was told on the news.
a broken heart with a ring on his finger,
the guy was writing a vow for his maiden..
for so many times he had sent her letters,
not one told of his great love for her."
and now that the story's almost over,
each children would ask about the guy..
while the children ask for the name in chorus.
the old man would just smile and gaze up at the sky.
an old man with gray hair and green eyes..
he didn't seem to look as old as eighty five.
every four in the afternoon he'd tell the young ones a story,
of a maiden and a prince who never got to marry.
for so many years, he'd been telling the same old tale
to all the folks who'd been there to listen.
and now that everyone else knew of it,
he had come to tell it to the children.
"there was this boy, in a blue jumper suit
who runs around with his wooden horse,
an only child, he never met his father
and so the boy came to live with his mother.
then there's this girl who lives across their street
her eyes were blue as violet,
her hair as soft as the clouds..
one afternoon their paths crossed at the candy store,
they both made friends and shared an ice cream
and remained close until their teens.
now each one is off to college
to pursue the dreams they had,
the girl went far out of town
while the boy stayed close to his mother.
each week he had a letter to send,
each time the lady replied..
it went on until they had to see each other again,
for there was a mutual understanding.
then it came that the lady thought it was time,
that they both straighten things and marry,
though she knew it was his part to play,
she sent a ring in a hurry.
to his astonishment the next morning,
he went early to buy tickets for surprise.
his plan was to fly and get his lady
and bring her home to walk the isle.
but dismay always had it's way over joy..
a storm came and for tonight he had to stay.
on the other hand, the girl flew to see him..
not noticing the sky was darker than the later night.
a strong wind blew and there was this thunder,
and all that was left to know was told on the news.
a broken heart with a ring on his finger,
the guy was writing a vow for his maiden..
for so many times he had sent her letters,
not one told of his great love for her."
and now that the story's almost over,
each children would ask about the guy..
while the children ask for the name in chorus.
the old man would just smile and gaze up at the sky.
- Location:tiny room
- Mood: amused
- Music:b.grabbin
remember how we used to cry when we can't have the cake we wanted to sink our teeth in?
how we mumble and rumble when we were not allowed to play outside?
i might have forgotten some of the fondest memories i had being a tiny tot, but i know i had the best of my childhood.
now that i've grown and learned the ways of adulthood, i realized it was better when i was a child.
i didn't worry about what to eat, what to wear or how to fix my room..my mother had it all for me.
i didn't have to worry about school, i only had to play around and scribble down on my notebook while learning to write and read. my teacher would even laugh at the silly lines i've made..she thought it was cute.
now, people laugh at you when your hand writing's bad, you have to work to eat, you have to prepare everything for yourself.
if i would be given one wish, i would wish that i would have to spend my life longer as a child.
there are a lot of times when you hear people say "you are acting like a child", saying it as if there is something very wrong about it.
maybe there is, only if you are a 40 year old guy who wants to punch a 5 year old boy because he doesn't want to share his toy soldier with you, or maybe that's just an exaggeration, but it happens.
to want to ride the merry-go-round even when you're 50 or to play barbie doll in your 30's or to sing jack and jill everyday because it's your favorite song is not wrong, yes it may entail you being a child and that is why it is fun. because children are like that, they do what makes them happy and content.
then what is being childish? i guess it's when you go rolling down the floor because your brother won't share his chocolates, and you're 20 (go and buy yourself your own chocolates! what is wrong with you?!)..anyways, crying is a normal adult thing..and so is shouting and screaming or laughing out loud. its all part of the emotional freedom thing..as long as don't go fighting over a silly pair of old socks =)
so it's fun having those childish ways. to be carefree (not careless) and simple..to easily accept things as they are (though children can be very stubborn), to be forgiving and naive (people now just know too much the world is such a mess!) and to enjoy the little things in life.
and so now i have this to say to you..
"i once was a child, you were once a child, and every once in a while everybody just needs to be a child."
..go now..play along children! =)
- Location:tiny room
- Mood: amused
- Music:piano by piano
but i actually have never missed a single vacation where i didnt come home. even when i was away studying..i always went home for the sembreaks, summer breaks and christmas holidays!
it had always occurred to me that may be cool, for once, not to come home on christmas.
since i am now in a bigger city and there are more places to see..i thought i might as well spend the holidays here, alone.
i guess i was wrong.
christmas really is not holiday without spending it with the people who make it worth the holiday for you.
this has officially been the longest and loneliest christmas and new year i have ever had.
while my family are calling, updating me about the fun they are having, i am here stuck with the rabbit just because i had to prove that asparagus has an effect on the rabbit's platelet count. urgh!
it's not at all exciting. it's exhausting!
well..maybe this is what one gets from asking too much of a time alone...loneliness.
i am really not much of a misser..but i do miss a lot of people now, and i really miss them a whole lot!
well, there's really not much to do now but listen to music, play the piano, post blogs, surf the net and sleep just to prevent boredom (though it really can't be prevented when you have no where else to go). i would really love to shop..but i'll just end up broke and at the end of the day i'm still lonely.
pathetic right? i know. i guess that is just how i feel right now. happy new year!
- Location:tiny room
- Mood:
lonely - Music:champion of love
there are a lot of times when we do things not because we want to, but because others have told us to do so. And sometimes it does not really come as a command from others that we have to obey, it just comes implied that we are to do such things.
practicing our will power is like setting up our own government where we are the people and the prime minister as well..we command and obey, we do what we want and have to do. in the other sense of being robbed from having the will power..we instead just do what we have to do, it doesn't really matter if we want it or not as long as we get it done.
its never always easy to proclaim independence, especially not when we've been used to being under such great power. it takes guts and a whole lot of confidence to be able to actually go out and be on your on in this wild and messy world. people can't always be trusted, so then we can't always trust ourselves as well, since we are only human.
well, as human as we are..we still are entitled to every right given to us..keeping in mind our limitations of course. so, be bold and fearless! try swimming against the waves sometimes. you don't always have to follow where everyone else is going. you don't always have to be directed. what you need is to hear your own voice, to follow your own commands. when you know what's wrong, how can you be not right. right? =)
practicing our will power is like setting up our own government where we are the people and the prime minister as well..we command and obey, we do what we want and have to do. in the other sense of being robbed from having the will power..we instead just do what we have to do, it doesn't really matter if we want it or not as long as we get it done.
its never always easy to proclaim independence, especially not when we've been used to being under such great power. it takes guts and a whole lot of confidence to be able to actually go out and be on your on in this wild and messy world. people can't always be trusted, so then we can't always trust ourselves as well, since we are only human.
well, as human as we are..we still are entitled to every right given to us..keeping in mind our limitations of course. so, be bold and fearless! try swimming against the waves sometimes. you don't always have to follow where everyone else is going. you don't always have to be directed. what you need is to hear your own voice, to follow your own commands. when you know what's wrong, how can you be not right. right? =)
- Location:tiny room
- Mood: accomplished
- Music:magazine
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